I recently participated in a publishing panel and was asked the question: Have you ever had to reject a friend’s submission? And what’s the best way to handle that?

None of us on the panel actually got around to answering, so I thought I’d blog about it.

Becoming friends with authors is one of the perks of being a publisher! I’ve had the honor of publishing books by many of my closest friends who also happen to be talented writers. Some of those friendships existed before I published their work and some of our friendships developed after working together. One of the things about the publishing industry, especially the small press genre fiction part of it, is that it is actually a pretty small community, and if you stick around long enough, you’ll get to know and become friends with a lot of people you could potentially work with.

I’ve also had the honor of rejecting work by many of my friends. Yes, the honor. I see it as a great privilege when authors submit their work to me. It indicates that they value my press and would trust me to publish their work. And when a friend submits a book to me, it also means that I get to read something created by someone I care about! But rejecting books is one of my least favorite parts of the job. It isn’t always easy to reject a friend’s work and it can be emotionally difficult to navigate. But it doesn’t have to be. Here’s what I have learned helps make the process easier:

1. Act with professionalism.
   When it comes to business, I strive to always act with professionalism, even with close friends. This means that I treat them the same as I would any author submitting to me and evaluate the work through the same lens, which puts priority on the needs of my business and the audience it serves. Just because I like a person, it doesn’t mean I can sell their book. Actually, even if I like a book it doesn’t mean I want to publish the book. If I let my personal feelings for someone cloud my professional judgement, it doesn’t do either of us any good. And in the long term it can even cause our friendship to suffer. When rejecting any author, not just friends, I’m always sensitive to how it might affect them emotionally. But one can never go wrong with an honest, kind, professional response.
2. Clarify intentions.
   It’s good to make sure that the friend submitting their work to my press understands my intentions. My intention when reading their submission is not to judge the quality of their work or to judge them as a creator. If they are my friend, they usually already know how I feel about their talent. When looking at a submission, I am evaluating whether it fits the needs of my business. Of course, that usually includes my very subjective opinion of whether or not I personally like the book, but it also accounts for other factors such as whether it works into my overall vision for the press at that time, whether I understand the audience it is written for and feel I can market to them, and if I have the resources and time to put towards the project. It is not uncommon for me to reject books that I enjoy due to all kinds of other business factors.
3. Set clear expectations about communication.
   I usually only look at submissions once a year and I request that authors (even friends) only send their work to me during that window. I give them a date when they will hear back from me and make sure to follow through with a response by that date. No author likes giving an editor something to look at and not knowing when or if they will ever hear back about it, and certainly not if they’re your friend. Another expectation that is important to clarify is whether or not I’ll be offering a critique. Ordinarily, I do not offer feedback about books that I reject. But when it comes to my friends, oftentimes they are looking for constructive criticism and it’s important to clarify with them ahead of time whether or not that is something I have the time or inclination to do. I also let my author friends know how best to communicate with me about publishing work and I try to maintain healthy boundaries around it. Usually this means setting up a meeting with me to discuss or sending an email to my business email. Sure, an author friend might ask me something about their book casually over drinks or in mixed company, but they will most likely be met with a response like, “Let’s set up a meeting to discuss that.”

Working with friends can be the best thing in the world or the worst thing. Collaborating with likeminded people is what the small press world thrives upon, but not every partnership or every pitch is right every time. In my experience, if we are professional, intentional about how we evaluate the work, and clear with our communication, then ultimately the friendship remains healthy no matter what the circumstance, even if it means rejecting a friend’s book.